my next problem

Every night we're all forced to watch Charlie Sheen self destructing before our very faces and on HDTV, nonetheless.

Do I want to watch a crazed maniac talk about his amazing will power and "magic?" Not when I can see through his addict's language and rampant denial that he has a very real problem.

What pisses me off the most about his media spree is his constant self-championing and his claim that his chaotic scenes and parties with porn stars and free basing are absolutely original, extreme, "radical," and basically beyond anything anyone else in humankind has ever been able to experience, survive, endure, outlive, or outlast.

His proclamation that "the run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, and Richards look like droopy-eyed, one-armed children" not only makes no sense, as all 4 men have both upper body appendages, but also, Keith Richards? Are you serious?

Not to mention what I actually screamed at the television tonight.

"Honey, Dennis Hopper created 'magic' before you even knew what magic was."

Hopper blew himself up with dynamite and survived the blast. He ran naked through the jungle for days straight. He threw a burning mattress out a hotel window. He drank fifths of vodka just to counteract the cocaine, but most of all, the man made movies that inspire, last, and ultimately, kick the ass of Two and a Half Men back about 5 miles in the race of cultural relevance.